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Premature Obituary

May 28, 2019

26 December 2101

Ms Tina Price-Johnson passed away at the age of 129, an age she never expected to see, managing as she did to span the change of two centuries and lucky enough to remember the turn of both.  She would have been thrilled to make it to one last Christmas simply because she was a person who enjoyed giving gifts and making people happy, if she could.  Plus, she was excited to see what people would give the woman who lived way too long not to have all she needed, if not all she wanted.

I love that cloak so much...

LSH with Tina

Tina leaves behind a menagerie of cats (56 at last count) and a long-suffering husband (LSH) who according to his promises will shortly follow her into the grave having fallen on his sword, originally worn at their wedding a mere 94 years earlier.  Given LSH went utterly demented 25 years earlier Tina will not hold him to his promise; he continues to play Assassin’s Creed: GoodGriefNotAnotherOne on a daily basis whilst swearing at the screen and wearing most of his food on his shirt.

Tina will be missed by her parents, identical twin sister, older brother, nieces and nephews, her godchildren (referred to always as her odd-children as she was an atheist who believed in humanity), the rest of her family, and her many friends many of whom she has known since they entered the world, all of whom outlive her.  She is hopeful that her own activism and humour has been in some way influential on her loved ones.  Tina believes she is lucky in that she is the first family member to go so doesn’t have to do all that grieving herself, that’s way too much emotional labour.

Tina was a prolific writer in her lifetime.  Her blog is one of the longest to be in existence on the internet, and ever the technophobe she was always one of the last to update her online presence to the most effective way to communicate.  She may have been a prolific writer but she was not prolifically read.

Tina’s blog had always been more of a way of marshalling her own thoughts and a way challenging herself to ensure her own argument stood up in the face of onslaught, in her view.  One of her proudest moments is when a reader contacted her to say her blog had been instrumental in helping the reader successfully challenge the sexist and racist opinions expressed by the reader’s parents.  Tina had changed minds.  Well, mind.  One at a time will work.

Tina wrote a novel called The London Fairy, an urban fantasy with a feminist twist, with which she was pleased but which she was convinced would never set the literary world alight.  It was published and became a massive success winning both the Nobel Prize for Literature and for Chemistry surprising no-one more than her, except the scientists who thought chemistry awards should actually be awarded for Chemistry stuff.  There was talk of bribery but nothing was ever proven, and the removal of the entire voting committee shortly after the awards were made is entirely coincidental.  Sadly it had taken her so long to write her novel she did not have time for a sequel.

Tina also wrote poems, some of which were deemed ‘good’ by those who loved her and were therefore in no way biased about the matter.

Tina did not have children, and the children she did not have are very grateful.

From → Prose

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